A few weeks back I made mention of being 7 weeks pregnant. And I was… but I’m not anymore. It was a few weeks back, but only now do I feel like I’ve had enough healing that I can post about it. It was quite unexpected since I hadn’t had any problems with my previous pregnancies. But then again, I think all miscarriages are unexpected and no matter how many you have I can only imagine it gets worse each time.
Because of this new experience in this walk of life, I have grown. I certainly grieved and shed tears and was also angry. My poor children who have had to survive around me. We did tell them what happened and I have had to humble myself frequently asking for their forgiveness for unnecessary outbursts. I’m so thankful kids are so quick to forgive and forget.
Tonchi one day said he wanted to pray at lunch and says, “And please give Mommy kindness towards Koa and Aisling and me.” It broke my heart. After apologizing to them, I told him I was so happy that he prayed for me. He saw my weakness and instead of asking me to change, just went to God knowing that He is the only one who can truly change me.
After our loss a few weeks ago, I have a new sympathy and sorrow for other women and families who have children lost and never met on this earth. I now know words that may offer comfort, I have a better idea of what would bless them and I know a hug speaks a thousand words of comfort.
A dear friend made a profound statement that I have carried with me. “In Christ we no longer feel the sting of death. There is still sadness and grief, but we have a hope of one day meeting our child(ren) once again.”
That is so true and knowing that one day I will get to meet my baby in heaven, brings joy and happiness that I otherwise wouldn’t have known. In Christ not only to we have new life, but we have hope for the future. Our future and for our children.
God has been so good to us. Even though the trial of these last few weeks we have felt God’s care for us and his arms surrounding us. So many family and friends have gathered around to support us and comfort us and help in any way we need. By God’s undeserved grace we have been able to see sunshine in the rain.
We are still grieving and sad for a lost life. At the same time we continue to receive strength, comfort and peace from our Great Savior Jesus Christ.
Thank you for your prayers for us. We could still use them!