One of the super mommies in my Holistic Mom’s Group sent out an email a few days ago about needing “mommy time” or “me time”. She asked the group what that looked like for each of us and how we made it happen. She also brought up finances and affording that time and how to make that work.
I thought these were great questions and ones that Mommies really need to think about and address. I think if we are honest with ourselves we recognize the fact that we do need time away from our children. Not that we don’t love them or that we can’t wait to get away… but we were individuals before they arrived and we need to keep that. One day they will be grown up and gone and we need to make sure we don’t feel like we lose our identity because we no longer have little ones running around the house.
Having hobbies and activities we enjoy doing is a good thing. We need that time to use our brains for things that are enjoyable, not that we don’t find joy in our children. I think all of us would agree that our kids are the best things that have ever happened to us, but also one of the hardest things (besides marriage) we will ever face. There is a lot of sacrifice and laying down one preferences and that is really hard especially when it isn’t noticed or appreciated!
If our cups are full to running over then we are able to pour ourselves out for the needs of our families. If we are running on empty and barely making it, then something has got to change… no one can run on empty for very long.
So what does that look like? What are some ways we can make sure we are full?
I know I NEED my alone time daily. I know I have mentioned this before as one of my goals, but I try to wake up around 6/6:15 each morning to do my personal devotions. Time spent alone… just me and God. I read His word, spend time in communion with Him and if i have time, read a few pages in a book by one of His followers. I also enjoy a cup of coffee while reading and get to witness the sunrise in winter!
Unfortunately since the start of the pregnancy 20 weeks ago I haven’t been able to get up that early due to morning sickness or pure exhaustion. So these times of fellowship with God have been shortened and squeezed into other parts of the day. It definitely isn’t the same and I miss it tremendously. I’m glad I miss it, it makes it all the more of a HIGH priority for me to get back to a more normal routine!
I also greatly relish nap time in the afternoon. Even if the oldest two boys (5 and 4) don’t nap, they have to stay in their room reading or working on a quiet activity and of course Aisling(2) still naps. I enjoy my second cup of hot joe and have some screen time! I usually check email, write for the blog, pay bills, or read a book. I try not to use it as a time to get chores done (although bills are definitely a chore!), but a time to enjoy the quiet. I really, really need this time.
Also in this pregnancy I’ve napped with the kids almost daily since the start. So I’ve also missed this time as well and it’s another priority I want to take back SOON! I know the likelihood is slim considering I will probably only get increasingly tired before welcoming a newborn that includes nighttime feedings! It will happen one day and I’ll look forward to that and have to get more creative with time otherwise! 😉
I know other moms have fantastic ideas of what that looks like for them. Some take planning retreats to plan out their week or month or year. Just a time for them alone at a coffee shop or a weekend away. Others like a spa trip, mani/pedi, walk in the sunshine, or one of 1000s interests like knitting, sewing, crafting, writing, etc. Find what is interesting to you and find a way to fit it in.
Don’t feel guilty about it! You need your time to feed your soul so that you are able to nurture your children. They count on you, and they greatly benefit from a spiritually, physically, mentally healthy Mama!
What do you do to maintain sanity in this trip called motherhood? How do you keep spiritually healthy? Phyisically healthy? And mentally healthy? I’d love to hear additional ideas!