Mother’s Day has come and gone a bit over a week ago. If you haven’t noticed, I didn’t post at all last week. The school year is coming to an end and we are making a big push to get our house on the market. I just haven’t had a spare moment to sit down and write a post. It’s been on my mind.. A lot has been on my mind to share, but it just hasn’t happened.

Hence the reason my Mother’s Day post is a bit late.

But I wanted to share, and didn’t want to just skip, so late it is. I certainly don’t have anything profound to share. And just the fact that I’m making mention of Mother’s Day brings many mixed emotions for many people.

I have much to be thankful for. I have a good relationship with my own mother, my mother is living, I have healthy children, I’m a mother of five amazing children, and my children are young, such that none of them are old enough to have an astranged relationship with me (and I pray that never happens.) These things are so very true for me and I know that is so much more than what many can say. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. This was NOT the Creator’s original design. I too look forwrad to that day when all those painful relationships can be made right.

I will also be honest and say that I do think of my boys, Avi and Jussi and my other two babies that are missing from me. Never to be held on this earth. It wasn’t quite as painful this year, but I did think of them and wonder how much crazier life would be if they were here! A crazy, insanity I would take over the pain of their loss.

Life is messy, and NEVER as we dream it will be. And even as we dream of our futures, they will NOT be what we hope for. Maybe parts, but not all. And even in the pain and hurt there can be beauty that comes. If it wasn’t for the messy parts of my life, I wouldn’t have even thought about others who don’t have a more than perfect Mother’s Day. And if I would have thought of these woman, I don’t think I would have had the same compassion that I have now.

I feel for you. I know some of the pain, although certainly not all of it. One of the hardest I can imagine is the dream of being a mother and not realizing the fulfillment of that dream. Being a mother is one of the best things that has ever happened to me (also one of the hardest and most painful). I don’t know who I would be with out my kids. They have made me a better person, and I wish every woman who desires children could have that dream to it’s fullest.

So, all women, know that I was thinking of you on Mother’s Day and I hope that you can find beautiy even in the pain. That you can find a piece of joy and satisfaction. I was thinking of you on Mother’s Day and I’m thinking of you again now. Blessings to you.