Overwhlemed

What does it mean to be overwhelmed? To me it means to be overcome completely in mind or feeling, to be overpowered or over come, crushed. And that’s how I feel right now.

For me there are two aspects of feeling overwhelmed. In an earthly and circumstantial sense I feel crushed by life right now. There is too much going on. I want to hit the pause button just to catch up and be able to process all that is going on. It feels like the world is falling apart around me. In the biggest way I feel in a fog is with grieving over my two lost boys, Avi and Jussi just this year. But since Jussi was born I feel like things are running away with out us. Our income has been very low over the last month, our washing machine broke a few days after Jussi was born and still isn’t working, Brian has broken a two teeth in the last two weeks (which is quite expensive when you choose to not have dental insurance), Brian’s truck needs repairs, and the typical squabbles of siblings seems too much.

Overwhelmed.

It feels too heavy to carry.

Sorrow too great.

Sorrow that none can share with me. A path I have to walk that often seems lonely even when there are friends and family at my side.

Only Jesus.

He only give me comfort. Only when I turn to Him do I have comfort and strength for the next step. And that is the way He designed it. He is there. But even better…

He waits… for me.

He knows what I need and He is just waiting for me to come running like a little toddling child to the parent who knows what they need.

…And God… He gave His son, Jesus, up for me, to save me. Willingly allowed His son to die. I would’t choose to let either of my sons die. What love He has for me…

I’m overwhelmed with his love and care for me. I have a peace that is found only in Him. Even in my sadness there is a stillness that I can have with Jesus that isn’t found anywhere else.

Overwhelmed… keeping my eyes on Jesus.

This is a song (thank you Breanne) that has held me and turned me back to Who I need to see bigger than life itself.

3 thoughts on “Overwhlemed

  1. Thanks for sharing where you are at right now. I’m so sorry my friend. I pray that His presence will feel more and more real and sustaining. That song that you shared has brought me much comfort over the past year or two.

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  2. Thank you for sharing this song, I cried through it. Sometimes life seems so very weary, and I find myself crying out for our Savior’s return. I’m so sorry for your pain. Love you.

    Like

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