Change is always imminent. I like to think things are stable and under control and smooth sailing. But truth be told I’m not in control of any of it and all of it could change in a moment. I’m not advocating that we all should walk around thinking there is a black cloud above waiting to burst at any moment… the change may be good. It very well could be a cloud filled with rainbow sprinkles that’s about to burst!
Some people love change. I would say I usually do love change…. On my terms! I like routine, but not too much that it gets boring. I like to have an outline for the week, but I like to be able to change it up and have the freedom to do something completely different if it suits! Or if an awesome opportunity comes up for the kids schooling I would like to not have to rigid of a schedule that we miss out. I don’t like the same meal over and over for dinner. I like to move furniture around in my house periodically! I don’t want to vacation in the same place each year…I like a job that is a little bit different each time I clock in… and the list could go on…
But I do like consistency. I LOVE long and stable friendships. I like deep relationships with honesty and commitment. That can’t be gotten with quickly changing friends. I like knowing my community. I like being faithful to one church and digging into people’s lives and walking through the messy parts and hard parts. I like that we’ve been in our house for 14 years and we’ve made it our space. I like knowing my neighbors. I like having deep roots where we are. Those things I DON’T want to change.
Since late August I’ve had a sense that there is change coming for our family… and not really the change that I like! Not that I won’t welcome it, or that it won’t be good. The Lord has been gently preparing me, I believe, to be open to change that isn’t usually what I’m looking for. To not get too set in our everyday routines and cycles of life that I don’t see new opportunity that might be right for our family.
Brian and I have talked about this and prayed about it over the last few months and things just seemed to be the same. Nothing dropping out of the sky, no lightning bolts, nothing huge. Just everyday life! We also didn’t have any specific ideas in mind or new directions we wanted to investigate.
I don’t know what God has for us. I don’t know what life holds. But I want to be open and available. I don’t want to schedule my life and try and control it so much that I miss great and good things God wants for us. It seems the sky’s changing. I don’t know how and I can’t see the clouds, but I can smell it in the air!