Mother’s Day – Joy in Sorrow

I’m not usually sentimental, or a deep thinker. I don’t listen to my heart and allow myself to think, feel and be. I tend to be one to push through, carry on, and use will power to make things happen. But that’s changing. I’m learning to slow down, let myself think and feel. I’m allowing myself to be weak and seek God in my lowest and in my need. I’m seeing more who I truly am, who God made me to be and how much I need Him.

But how does that relate to Mother’s Day? Usually, I didn’t like Mother’s day except that it was close to my birthday. I enjoy giving more that receiving and it was nice to be able to give close to the day that most would only receive. I’ve felt like it was more of a Hallmark holiday… purely marketing. I’m certainly not that sentimental about it…. Until more recently!

This year it kinda snuck up on me. This week has been a bit more emotional and I’ve been thinking about my boys. I miss them more. If both of them were here now and were born on their due dates they would be one and 6 weeks. Life would have been so full, sleepless and busy, but filled with much laughter and giggles and busy days.

So this day, I’m so thankful I’m a mother. I’m grateful for my four beautiful and crazy kids and I’m grateful for my two boys who have left this world before me. They make me much more sentimental about Mother’s Day! It means more to me this year! I wouldn’t know fully what I was missing not having them, if I didn’t have my other kids.

So, this day is both joyful and sorrowful. But I’m grateful.

This video was produced by NOVA Natural Birth Center (They delivered all 7 of my babies and I now work for them as a Registered Nurse Birth Assistant; BEST job ever!!!!) AND we are in it! Such a great mix of photos and LOTS of friends in there as well!!!

(In case you want to know what photos are of us and you can’t tell… 0.25 seconds into the video is Aising’s birth and 0.38 seconds is my first few moments with Xanthie)

May your Mother’s Day be blessed in joy and in sorrow!

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